The past couple of weeks have been a time of learning and humbling for me. At the MTC and my first few weeks here I was so thrilled with everything. It was amazing to just bask in the spirit.
But even on a mission it is easy to start hoping or wishing for what others have - a house right next to the sites, a chance to work in Carthage or the Visitor's Center, a chance to perform in the vignettes they only let couples do, speaking parts in the Rendezvous show or a chance to speak in church or give a Relief Society lesson like the missionaries who have only been out a week, while those of us who have been here longer have never been asked.
I have had to remind myself a few times that the measure of my self worth has nothing to do with how many lines I have in the play, where I give tours, or how flawlessly I play the piano.
I am here as a missionary to bear witness of Jesus Christ. I must remember that He and my Heavenly Father direct this work. I know they have placed me exactly where they want me. They are directing this work even in the smallest details - like the day I put a couple of cough drops in my purse for no apparent reason - I just felt that I should. At the site a girl from a youth group couldn't stop coughing and was missing the tour. I asked her if she wanted a cough drop, and she was so grateful. It allowed her to listen to the most spiritual parts of the tour.
I just need to remember to trust the Lord with all my heart and not question what He is doing. He is in the details of my life and is directing my service here. When I put my trust in Him, I am happy and at peace and become a more powerful instrument in His hands!
I love you all and pray for you every day! I know you are doing a great job serving wherever you are.